Yup, I’m slackin on the website.  I’ve been working on my morning meditation and for some reason, my website just kind of….went away.  So, I’m back to it!  I am also pleased to see my friend Chris, from Ohio, has left me a comment!  I MISS HER!  Hey Chris, when is your son coming out to Colorado?  Is he cute????  ahahahahahahaha

I have been feeling a definite shift as my meditations change as well as my vision board (took on a life of it’s own).  My weeding gig is officially over….with mixed feelings.  I became good friends with the client….as usual.  And her little bosties ROCK.   I have also officially let go of Fort Collins.  That’s not to say that I have let go of Red Feather, which I most certainly have NOT, BUT…..after having lunch with a girlfriend last week, I realized that Red Feather comes from my heart, Fort Collins came from my head.  WRONG.  In the world of intuition, things that are thought out are often times “off” or somewhat incorrect.  All of the things I was trying to do in Fort Collins are coming to fruition in Longmont, so I was “off”.  That’s what happens when you think to much and don’t give your gut a little talk time.

Challenge of the day:

What, in your life, are you trying to accomplish right now that just isn’t working out, no matter how hard you try?  Quiet your mind and asking The Universe what it is that WILL work.  Do it.  They’ll answer.  I promise.  The challenge in that question is “quiet your mind” because our minds don’t hold the answers to our purpose…..it comes from deep inside.  Even if you don’t like the answer, it’s the right one.

See you tomorrow with a little conversation on vision boards.

J

The part time job is kicking my ass and it’s great.  Today I had a long lunch with a girl friend and then it was off to see Jamie about cutting off that mop of mine.  It’s SHORT.  4 miles around the lake this evening

and done for the day.  I did some more youth at-risk research and touched base with my real estate agent which is always interesting.  Tomorrow is weeding, weeding and more weeding.  This weekend promises time to dig into a few books that have been staring at me, lots of time for walking/hiking and sushi at Jeju.  Yeeehaw!  I want a cookie!

It feels like Thursday and I don’t even have a 9-5 job but my weekend was AMAZING!!!!  Things are picking up considerably.  Weeding is a full-body contact sport and I forgot that fact after not living on the farm for a year.  The weeding project I have is a yard that is 1/4 acre that is all landscaped and has all gone wild.  SNAP.  Talk about getting bills paid this month!  The thistles are all taller than me and the saplings are tough customers to be dug up.  I couldn’t be more grateful.

So at the advice of a good friend (more like a sister) I stop manifesting money and start manifesting independence.  HUH.  It’s all in the words, kids.  Watch what you ask for, you’ll get it!  I’m tempted to ask The Universe for a stud but I KNOW I’d get a horse and Jeremy’s place isn’t big enough for a 1,200 pound ANYTHING.

So that’s my giggle of the day.  Tired and giggling as usual.

So, yesterday consisted of 3 hours of weeding in the morning (back-breaking but it’s paying my bills), then an afternoon of jobs and resumes.  Last night, I got a solid 7 miles in but it was so late in the day I ended up being up til about midnight.  GUH!  Oh well, today promises such delight!  Off to see my cosmic sister Sho for brunch then I’ll be able to take my nap at Washington Park.  I’ll surely have to do some laps while I’m there but hey, it’s Wash Park…..what’s not to love about napping and lapping THERE?  My old home away from home.  The next few days will be spent in Fort Collins with new friends and new job prospects, I couldn’t be more excited.  I’m going to get my butt up there one way or the other.  My random hour of gloom I had the other night is surely gone, as usual….

Do you ever stop for a moment, thinking you smell something from your past…..a favorite smell from time gone by, wafting through the stratosphere?  I got that this morning.  I closed my eyes and went with it.  It was a great trip back to McLeod Ganj at 7 this morning.

It’s gonna be a good day.

Got the doom and gloom out of my system.  I went weeding this morning and made some  cash.  At least I can afford to pay my bills with this job.  Happy today.  This weekend promises lots of good things.

Last night I couldn’t sleep.  Sam kept me company while I sat up and asked The Universe WHY my life continues to just get more and more difficult.  I have been in panic mode over money way too long and my patience is dwindling.  I have been hanging by a thread for a year now and I’m on the verge of a breakdown.  I know, no need to be so dower and fatalistic about things but dammit, this past year has been full of continual challenges that I think are a bit excessive.  I’m TIRED.  I want a job that I enjoy.  I want to make enough money to be comfortable and happy, have my own place, buy my own food and NOT WORRY ABOUT MONEY.  I know the challenges behind me were for a reason but I don’t know how much more I can take.  And how much longer I can remain unemployed and homeless on a sofa I don’t want to be on….Jeremy is being kind and gracious and patient but how long does he really want me living in his living room for the second time?  And how long is my buddy Steve gonna let me keep my shit in his garage?  It’s been looming there for a year.  He wants it out.  He has told me as much.

I believe I’m allowed a bad day here and there.  Last night was just BAD but I get up, and face the day.  Food stamp camp is taking up 3 hours of my day, then it’s off to spend time NOT in front of the computer this afternoon.  Tomorrow….WEEDING for the day.

I’m working hard on getting a job at Fort Collins High School.  Got the vision board going and a new person in my life has me excited about being able to ride bike to work every day, once I get moved up there.  YEEE HAW.

Fort Collins High School is hiring and I AM READY.

This morning I greeted the day with a 7-mile jaunt around MacIntosh Lake.  Amazing how cloud cover makes things seem so effortless.   After years of running at Washington Park amidst all of the giant cottonwood trees and not frying in the mile-high sun, I now realize I was SPOILED.  Even the green belt walk way here in Longmont has trees, sure but any actual tree cover?  Nope.  I fried like the pasty white girl I am, on Saturday.  No tree cover at the lake.  No tree cover anywhere I look.  Shoot.  I get whiny when I have to exercise in the blazing sun on a hot day.  I don’t like being THAT hot.  Shit, I belong WAY north of here where 75 degrees Fahrenheit indicates a blistering-hot day.  I tried to move to Marquette but The Universe wasn’t havin it…right?  That’s it, I’m moving to Canukistan…..like New Brunswick or  Newfoundland.

I need a nap.

I felt great yesterday and this morning.  Got up, rearing to go, ready to attack another 8 miles and BLAMMO….a toe blow out….a blister in an awkward spot.  I only went 3.5 miles this morning and thought I’d give it the day to rest and hit the trail tonight.  COME ON, I used to run with worse, right?  I tried walking tonight and had a band-aid fail.  So this is The Universe telling me to take it easy today.  So I went and picked up dinner at Jerusalem and went home to finish watching ElizabethI.  Tomorrow, back to the job hunt.  Tho I have to say, I now feel strangely relaxed about it.  The panic is gone.  It’s like …..I’ve bottomed out and have nothing more to lose so who cares….just keep sending resumes out until someone deems me worthy of an interview.  I DID sign up to be a mentor up at The Matthews House in Fort Collins.  SSOOOOOPPPPER excited about THAT.  I REALLY want to work there but if they haven’t any jobs, I’ll gladly mentor and volunteer to do what ever else needs to be done around there.  HAPPILY.

And I found a new activities partner thanks to Craigslist.  He sounds soooper neato and think we’ll have fun.